Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

I know that I only refer to you as an organ that pumps blood throughout my body, but I need your help with something. Remember your mythical function that everybody raves and blabbers about all the time? Yeah, that one. Well, I've never been an emotional and I've never been big on the whole "love" concept therefore I don't subscribe to the notion of "romance." However, lately a couple of friends of mine have been "cheering" for me and a nonexistent love life.

Here's the thing, a guy I met at a party supposedly pestered our common friend for my number (but I think he just asked once, and my friend being the romantic, gave in). He started texting me, and under the orders to "be nice" I reply to his messages. I don't have anything against the guy but I also have no idea if we have anything in common for me to say that I like him. A friend of mine said that I was being too guarded, I should just go with my emotions. This is where you HAVE to meddle if what they say is true. It has been almost 4years since I last tried to use your supposed other function, and since then I haven't attempted to use it again. It was just too much of an effort to be worth it. I reckon it was because I was still "thinking" and not "feeling." This gives me the impression that you are not doing your end of the deal.

So, don't slack off! If you really have two functions, then perform your duties well! The heartburn and palpitation is also getting a bit annoying.

Sincerely,

Me (NBSB)